• keya Collins

Lissssen! I’ve explained once before that I’ve never doubted my Husband’s journey to the top, but I have thought about getting off this roller coaster more times than I can count! If you’re the wife of a coach and have never had that piercing thought, Kudos to you! Let me start by saying; my Husband’s grind is unmatched and that is something I’ve loved about him, from the beginning! Even now, I am still in admiration of him and his grind!

Coaching can be draining for not only the Coach, but for the entire family. From practices, games, recruiting trips, film, never ending phone calls, etc. I’m sure you’re thinking “that’s not something the entire family is involved in”, but trust me! We’re involved. Recruiting trips sometimes run from mid-week, until the top of the following week. This means that the Coach is on the road and away from his family. Guess what this means for his Wife?? She is home tending to the kids and praying no one gets sick or hurt while Daddy is away. By the time he returns home, he’s exhausted from traveling, Mom is tired from nonstop going with kids, and the kids; well they are just happy Daddy’s home. Let’s not forget phone call season! This is when the phone is constantly glued to the Coach’s ear, while you are trying to get him to be engaged in what you have going on. This is also when he unsuccessfully attempts to multitask and causes you to say “just forget it!”

There are times when my husband has received phone calls, in the middle of the night, regarding the players. Of course, he has to immediately step in to resolve the issue. There has also always been large and small papers laying around the house; which contains plays. This has been the norm ever since our dating phase. If I decide to put them away, I better know where they are, when he needs them! And I DARE NOT throw them away! Talk about all hell breaking loose! Coaching is when your husband says, “Babe, can you cook something tonight? The players are coming over to watch the game”, and you have to drop everything to make a quick grocery store run. Coaching is when you are at dinner and your husband swears that the nineteenth call he receives, is “the most important call”. My husband has driven across States, for players that he was not sure would work out, just to prove his abilities to the Head Coach. He’s solved problems with players that his Head Coach had zero knowledge of. He’s attended every Final Four since becoming a Coach; just for networking purposes.

The grind has never stopped and it has been both exhausting and exhilarating. I love what coaching has brought to our family and I especially love seeing my Husband get rewarded for his hard work!

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  • keya Collins

It’s that time of year again. AAU is underway and we want our children with the best of the best! I get it and understand; especially if your child is in high school. You’re trying to get them in the spot light, but understand that coaches are looking for consistency!

If you want your child to be serious about the game, get him/her established on a team early. Find a team where they can have fun, while also working on fundamentals and skill work. Get your child with a coach who will help develop them. Parents should not be worried about their child being ranked at an early age, or even later in age, because coaches don’t care! Yes, it feels good knowing your child is in the top ten in their city or even state, but it adds pressure to them and reduces their excitement for the game. You should definitely work to pull the best out of your child and make them play hard, but avoid getting caught up in the hype.

If your child is an exceptional player once they reach high school level, coaches will already know them. This is the level in which coaches start not only looking at their skill set, but also their character: what type of kid are they on and off the court? Are they the type of kid that makes their teammates better or are they only focused on themself? Coaches also look at fundamentals: is your child dribbling unnecessarily, failing to pass, slow moving? Make sure your child is with the right team that will grant them exposure. Today’s kids have the “microwave mentality”, meaning they want everything at a fast pace. If it doesn’t happen quickly, they want to move on to something they think is a better situation. Do not let your child be “that kid”. Most of the greats did not hop from team to team.

The most important thing is consistency. Does your child jump from team to team? When things don’t go the way he/she thinks they should, do you move them on to the next team or next school? Reality is, it doesn’t matter if you’re with the best AAU team or high school team; what matters is how loyal they are to their teammates and coaches. Yes, life happens and it may force you to move on and join a new team, but don’t let your kid be labeled as the good player who lacks consistency. Consistent hard work, breeds success! Success breeds Greatness!

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  • keya Collins

It’s pressure knowing that a losing season rides on your husband’s shoulders. It’s pressure knowing that a losing season may be the loss of jobs for coaches, who depend on your husband. It’s also pressure knowing that the other wives and children are depending on your husband to produce a winning season. Let’s be clear; no one ever speaks on or recognizes the pressure you feel, as a Head Coach’s wife.

Being the Head Coach’s wife, is probably the most anxiety filled position there is to have. There is the pressure of always feeling the need to be on. If you have a bad day or simply not in the mood to shake hands and kiss babies; you’re labeled the unapproachable wife. There is also the pressure of making sure your family looks the part. It’s easy to say, “You shouldn’t care what people think”, but it’s a different story when you receive a bad rep for not being on your A-game. People never consider what may have happened right before their brief interaction with you. Nor do they factor in all of the pleasant vibes you’d given on other occasions. It’s just that “one time that counts” to them. There’s also the pressure of being at an event, the one time that you’re not put together and your child has on play clothes, and media insists on taking a picture of you. That’s a moment you’re forced to relive over and over again. This wife position applies pressure…lots of pressure.

There is pressure in knowing your husband wants his time, your child(ren) want their time, and you definitely need your time, but it’s on you to figure out how to squeeze it all in. Oh! And what about the last minute requests that your husband sprung on you?! As if your life is already full of pressure, you now have to make sure your house is in tact, for the event you have to host! Uggggh! The pressure!

It’s pressure in knowing you’re the home away from home for the players. Yes, you enjoy being with them and loving on them, but it’s pressure in knowing that you may not make mama’s Mac n cheese or grandmas sweet potato pie, how they like it. The pressure doesn’t come from not being able to fulfill the assignment: being able to handle the things that come at you, with style and grace is HEAVY PRESSURE.

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