Where is your husband?” Is an age old question that is asked at every wedding, holiday gathering, or any event that a coach’s wife attends with out her beloved husband. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure other wives get asked this question when their husband does not show up with her, but it just hits a different nerve for me, being a coach’s wife. I don’t know if there is a certain word in that question or if it’s the entire question that grinds my gears the most! But every time it’s asked, while in the company of relatives, friends, or acquaintances, it bothers me.
Picture this, a couple of weeks ago my mom came to stay with us for about a week. Each day, my husband left home to report to work, while my mom worked from our house. History and I would get home and continue our normal routine: he would get a snack, I would start dinner and he would go outside and shoot around. Pretty much the same thing everyday. In addition, add History’s basketball schedule in the mix. Each day, around the same time, my mom would either sit at the dinner table or walk into the kitchen to ask the same age old question, “Where is Brian?” Lol! Now don’t get me wrong, I’m sure if she knew how much it really got under my skin, she’d stop! Can you image being asked that, every day, around the same time for a week?! And responding with “he is at practice”, with the same tone, for an entire week?!
When I am hit with the question, I know it’s a conversation starter and they mean no disrespect, but I often think to myself, “Is this a rhetorical question, or am I expected to respond”. In pure coach’s wife fashion, I respond, “Oooo! He had a basketball thing!” with a smile on my face and my fists balled up (Arthur style (jk). I think it’s the audacity for me because if he could be there, he would definitely be present. In addition, the fact that my presence doesn’t seem to be enough, is mind boggling. Or maybe if I were greeted by a warm smile and a “Hey! How are you? How is your husband?”, then I would feel less targeted and more welcomed.