Recruiting Etiquette

Being an Athlete and being recruited by top tier schools, is an honor; however, the reality should be that being recruited by ANY school should be an honor to any Athlete…regardless of the eliteness of the program. “Why”, you ask? Well let me make it clear! That school you may have had zero desire to attend, may end up becoming your only option.

As an Athlete, be grateful for all of your options because there are Athletes who would love to be in your position. When college coaches show interest, acknowledge them even if you lack interest initially. Allow them the opportunity to speak with you and entice you with the benefits their program offers. In the event you see no potential or promise through the conversation, it is ok to be upfront and honest, yet respectful. It is okay to take all of your visits because it costs nothing to weigh all of your options, before committing. You are in total control of your recruiting so at any time you’re uninterested, you can say that.

As an Athlete, you must be accessible…Answer the phone! Not only should you answer, but engage with the Coach that you’re speaking with. Avoid short or one word responses. If it’s not a good time, express that. Never ghost a Coach! It’s rude and disrespectful. Also keep in mind that the very program that you’ve ghosted, may end up being the one that you call to seek acceptance.

Weigh your options. The bigger school may sound great, but may not be a fit for you. Gain clarity on any unanswered questions you may have and be cautious of outside influencers who attempt to assist you with making your final decisions. Have they ever been in your shoes? Are they trying to gain something for themselves? Are they the appropriate person to advise you on this decision? At the end of the day, you are the person who has to live with your decision.

Rules Are Made To Be Broken!

The biggest obstacle, being a coaching family, is moving. Not just the move itself, but everything that contributes to that process: you have to find new EVERYTHING! A new Dentist, new Physician, new hairstylist and more. I’ve recently decided to grow out my super cute, super chic and super short pixie cut . I was absolutely in love with it, but I decided that I wanted something different. Maintaining my (and my son’s) hair, has never been a struggle for me; this has been routine for years. Well, the pandemic hit and I decided that my new go-to style would be knotless braids. I had it all figured out! I would go to the same girl who had braided my hair in the past…so I thought.

So check it…my braider and I are making moves and keeping my hair tamed, when she decides she’s going to get pregnant! No problem right?! Wrong!!! HUGE problem because she eventually has to have the baby. Not only will she have to deliver, but she’ll also have to go on maternity leave! “Cool, no problem”, you say? Wrong again!! It was a huge problem because my roots started growing out while she’s on maternity leave, and I’m walking around with my head looking like a Chia Pet!

While my braider is out, I get the bright idea to find someone to hold me over, until she returns!

What was I thinking?! As I’m searching, I quickly realize that each braider has a long list of rules. They want you to come with your hair washed, blow dried and product free. One braider even had the audacity to state that “it must be blown out from the roots and must be tangle free or I will charge extra if I have to go back through it”! Keep in mind I’m natural, so my hair is tangled the minute I stop blow drying. Each braider also expects the client to pay a deposit to secure the appointment. “Make your appointment and send a deposit via CashApp. Text me your name once you’ve sent the deposit” is another rule directly from a braider’s site. Not to mention, the prices may or may not include the hair. Some aren’t even licensed, yet they are charging salon prices. Let me be clear, I don’t care if they are licensed or not! I just expect a professional experience and a finished product that is worth the price. What I am not a fan of is having to wash and blow dry my hair, to your standard! As a “stylist”, that should be your job. Instead, you’re requiring me to pay a deposit for me using MY shampoo, conditioner and blow dryer; while also paying you $200 or more to possibly be sitting in your kitchen or living room with your kids, husband, and whoever else is coming in and out. I’m sorry, but make it make sense! I’m not knocking anyone’s hussle, but I can only handle three good rules. Like my girl Cochea says, “small deposit, no extra people, and be on time”. Anything outside of that, I have nothing for you.

Customer service is the support offered to customers before and after their service. In this day and age, customer service has fallen by the wayside. Stylist want you to read their list of rules, while they provide little to no communication. The moment you ask more than three questions, they will ghost you. As a business person, always remember that customer service is essential to your brand and people will always remember how you treat them.

You’re going to Need Wine For This!

What goes into a move? Your heart, your soul, your mind, your peace, and your physical well being are all a factor, when deciding to make a move. A move within your same city is overly exhausting, but moving across cities, states, or even countries is a feeling indescribable. You may be excited for the change, but extremely afraid of the unknown.

Sometimes, you don’t get the opportunity to digest the move before it happens. We’ve accepted a job in July and had to move by the end of July or first of August. Not to mention, we were moving ACROSS THE COUNTRY! We had no time to process it, mentally. I’m sure you’re thinking, “How much time do you need?” Consider this…you have to get estimates (getting 3 moving estimates is sometimes required), and also have to look for a safe neighborhood, and schools. Also consider having movers and still having to organize and purge items that are not needed; while still maintaining your day to day chores and errands.

Moving Day…Moving day can be an all day process and usually the Coach is not involved. He may have already made it to the city or state you’re moving to, or tying up loose ends in the current location. Either way, moving day is left up to you to make sure everything makes it on the truck and to the final destination. When moving day comes, you have to make sure you have a suitcase packed for every person in the house because once your belongings go on the moving truck and head to the new location, you may still be at the previous residence a few extra days. Making sure the movers will not take anything that does not belong on the truck. You are also solely responsible for deciding whether to arrange a cleaning service or do the final cleaning yourself. It is exhausting!

Arriving in your new place...This is a different ball game! You have to make sure you are there to meet the movers, to make sure you have the keys and that electricity is on at the new place. As the movers unload the truck, you’re there to guide them and make sure each box makes it to the appropriate room. There is nothing worse than items ending up in the wrong space and having to drag a box all over the house. Once the movers leave, it’s time for you to add your cleaning touch to the house; which usually results in an all day process and leaving boxes untouched. This is why that packed suitcase is essential. When it’s time to unpack, the kitchen and the kid’s room are typically the first to be completed. “Why?” you ask? Because you need dishes and pots to cook, to avoid continuously eating out. Additionally, because unpacking the kid’s room gets them out of your hair for a minute. The rest of the house is next, but some things may never get unpacked.

Settling in is another part of the moving process. During the settling phase, it’s also time to register kids for the school, to find a doctor, dentist, and find extracurricular activities for the kids. This also comes with meeting the players and the families of the other coaches. Sometimes other wives can give you recommendations for reputable doctors and dentists, but there is nothing like doing your own research. Once you’ve checked these tasks off of your list, you can now settle into your new life until your next move.