Namaste

“Namaste,” say it with me and all your troubles will disappear. Ha! Don’t we wish it was that easy. As a parent and spouse we’ve all accepted the fact we’re not perfect. But does that make life any less stressful. As a coach’s wife, I am hit daily with balancing my life plus two other humans. One being my husband and the second being my 8-year old son. From the, “Babe can you?” To the “Mommy where is my?” O! Don’t I wish I could, “Namaste,” and boom it’s fixed. But that is okay, I can’t fix my life, but I’m going to Iyanla Vansant fix your life. No, I’m not, but just maybe I can give you some tips that has helped my anxiety.

I have come to realize that nothing or no one can come before you. If you don’t take care of you than who will. Face it if you can not be your best you, then how can you be your best you for your family. I know you are reading this asking, “ How do I do that?” “I can’t even go to the bathroom alone.” “Namaste,” 1. Never feel bad about saying no 2. Plan out activities and daily chores(make a list). 3. It’s okay to just go with the flow. Using myself as an example I used to pride myself on everything being perfect. So perfect that I would drive myself crazy. I would have all this built up anxiety that I would run around like a crazy person yelling for things to get done. The only person that was stressed and overwhelmed was me.

I quickly learned to be consistent with asking my husband to tell me things in advance ( don’t flatter yourself he still hasn’t learned). “Namaste”, also, I’ve taught myself to plan out when my son has activities at school, games on the weekend, or just extra anything going on. Through the week I get as much washing and cleaning done as possible. Does it always work out as planned? Heck no! That’s why I have taught myself no matter how much it drives me crazy just leave it. Does it make my anxiety any less? Nope! But I feel like I have better control over my life when I can talk myself through. Yes, my anxiety is always at an all time high when I have things going on. That is when I stop and go through my list of things and start checking things off so I can feel accomplished. And it helps with the anxiety. “Namaste.”

The Blue Print

It’s that time of year, parents! The time where your athletes are narrowing down their college options. There are so many things to take in consideration during this time in their life: one being that your athlete has their dream school that they want to attend. As the parent, have you considered asking your athlete to make a list of things they are looking for in a sports program? Things that they are looking for in a coach? Things they are looking for in a school? Most importantly, have they be given a full athletic scholarship?

As a parent, the most important thing you can do for your athlete is be supportive and realistic. When your athlete is making their list and checking it twice, be sure to ask specific questions like: “Are they offering you a full scholarship?”, “How interested is that school?”, “Have you only spoken with assistant coaches or have you spoken with the head coach as well?”, “Do they offer the type of degree you’re perusing?”, “How many teammates play your same position?”, “Are you coming in as a back up?”, and “Do you see yourself at the school long term?” All these questions, and more, play a major part in your child attending any school. Some times it’s better to start at a smaller school and work your way up. A smaller school may also be the better option for your athlete. As parents, our task is to be the silencer of outside noise: Peers and outside influencers can impact your athletes decision for their own journey.

Remember, finding the school that best fits your child’s future will help eliminate transferring in the future. Don’t get me wrong, coaching staff changes happen, life circumstances also happen; however, don’t allow your child to be a walk on at Duke, if choosing a smaller school with a full paid athletic scholarship was the better option. JA Morant, Steph Curry, Rob Covington all came from mid-major D1 programs and are having great success in the NBA; if the NBA is in your child’s future. JA Morant was so impressive that he had NBA scouts and former NBA players watching him in Evansville, Indiana OVC conference tournament. Talent speaks for itself!

Round of Applause

It’s the hard work and dedication on the side lines. The determination and decision making in life circumstances. It’s the courage and potential used to prove your worth. But most importantly, it’s the perseverance you exude in life. It’s not everyday someone gets to experience life behind the scenes of a coach, but having a lead role In your movie, I am privileged to have a front row seat.

It’s the endless nights of watching you click the space bar, to stop film and take notes. Or the nights you roll in late and everyone is asleep for the night; so you kiss our foreheads and lay beside us for a split second, and head to the couch or office to continue working until you’re exhausted. It’s the calendar jungle where you shift and rearrange things to try to prioritize what is important. Thank you for the nights that you’re extremely tired, but you muster up just enough energy to come in and play with your kid.

What about your dedication to your players? You’re the role model that reminds young men that you can have it all: marriage, career, and success. You’re the father figure who encourages young men and remind them that they can do it, they are great, and everything will be okay. The counselor that says “your circumstances don’t define who you are as a person”.

You’re the positive representation for the school. The cheerleader to your fans: win or lose. The man who with new and innovative ideas. The man who has to keep it all together, even when things seem to be falling apart. The man who shakes hands, kisses babies and assures everyone that we’ll bounce back after a loss. The man who does endless interviews, even when he just wants to lay down and rest his eyes. The man they call coach and the one we call dad and husband. And for all of that, you deserve a round of applause!