Where is your husband?

Where is your husband?” Is an age old question that is asked at every wedding, holiday gathering, or any event that a coach’s wife attends with out her beloved husband. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure other wives get asked this question when their husband does not show up with her, but it just hits a different nerve for me, being a coach’s wife. I don’t know if there is a certain word in that question or if it’s the entire question that grinds my gears the most! But every time it’s asked, while in the company of relatives, friends, or acquaintances, it bothers me.

Picture this, a couple of weeks ago my mom came to stay with us for about a week. Each day, my husband left home to report to work, while my mom worked from our house. History and I would get home and continue our normal routine: he would get a snack, I would start dinner and he would go outside and shoot around. Pretty much the same thing everyday. In addition, add History’s basketball schedule in the mix. Each day, around the same time, my mom would either sit at the dinner table or walk into the kitchen to ask the same age old question, “Where is Brian?” Lol! Now don’t get me wrong, I’m sure if she knew how much it really got under my skin, she’d stop! Can you image being asked that, every day, around the same time for a week?! And responding with “he is at practice”, with the same tone, for an entire week?!

When I am hit with the question, I know it’s a conversation starter and they mean no disrespect, but I often think to myself, “Is this a rhetorical question, or am I expected to respond”. In pure coach’s wife fashion, I respond, “Oooo! He had a basketball thing!” with a smile on my face and my fists balled up (Arthur style (jk). I think it’s the audacity for me because if he could be there, he would definitely be present. In addition, the fact that my presence doesn’t seem to be enough, is mind boggling. Or maybe if I were greeted by a warm smile and a “Hey! How are you? How is your husband?”, then I would feel less targeted and more welcomed.

Dear History,

Can l, first, say that I Love you?! As you lay next to me, I think of how God has blessed me with you. I think about how handsome of a young man you are and you’ll grow to be. I think of the challenges life will hand you, just because you are a young black man. Will you be able to handle them? Will you ask for help when your back is against the wall? I know that your dad and I are doing our best with raising you, but I often wonder if we’re doing enough: if it will be enough to get you through life. I often wonder if you will go to college; if you will continue with sports; if you will love me and your father as much, when you get older. One thing is for sure, I never want you to quit! Keep trying until you are satisfied and always know that we are here for you. Always know that our door is open for you. Always know that being a good person will take you further than being a bad, mean, or negative person. Yes, we have spoken college into your future, but if being an entrepreneur is your desire; we’re behind you. Your peers may try to persuade you or pressure you one day, but being your own person is the way to be! Don’t be so hard on yourself, but trust that God will show you the way. Also remember, girls will come and go, but your Mama will always be here.

There will be more days that I piss you off than days that I make you happy, but please know that I always have your best interest. There will be days you’ll prefer to talk to your dad and not me, but know that I’ll never take it personally. I will always be your punching bag, even when I don’t agree with your choices. Never take your talents lightly. I’m your biggest fan, but I will always correct when you’re wrong. Don’t take it personally, but understand that your biggest doubters are also your fans (read that again). I know it sounds weird, but just trust me on this. Even the biggest legends have doubters ( insert Kobe’s I hate you commercial). Please know that when you’re up, they love you and when you’re down, they hate you or they will be silent (ask your dad).

I know I have said a lot; some things you will understand and some things won’t become clear, until you’re older. That is okay because your dad and I will be there every step of the way, to remind you of how great you are!! History Cruz Collins, I love you and you are the Best! Never forget that!

Love,

Mommy

Room 155

“I’m sooo glad, I went to TSU,” is our theme song. The screeching of tennis shoes on a hardwood gym floor has been our life for 10 plus years. It all started with my husband being a G.A. (Graduate Assistant) at The Tennessee State University (TSU). My nickname to him was room 155, because he did not know me. Coach Penny would come out the coaches office everyday around the time I had class, to sneakily see me. I would stand, waiting for class to start paying no attention. Our first real encounter was at a friend’s birthday dinner and I thought he was kinda funny. The day after the dinner, we ran into each other shopping and that was when we exchanged numbers. We would occasionally speak on the phone, but it was nothing serious; until one day, he had built up enough courage to ask me to lunch (side note: he didn’t eat any of his food). From there, we of course, dated a couple of years and the rest was History (our son’s name). Room 155 is where it all began, and that room now sits across from my husband’s Head Coaching office at The Tennessee State University where our son runs around on the court.