Consistency

It’s that time of year again. AAU is underway and we want our children with the best of the best! I get it and understand; especially if your child is in high school. You’re trying to get them in the spot light, but understand that coaches are looking for consistency!

If you want your child to be serious about the game, get him/her established on a team early. Find a team where they can have fun, while also working on fundamentals and skill work. Get your child with a coach who will help develop them. Parents should not be worried about their child being ranked at an early age, or even later in age, because coaches don’t care! Yes, it feels good knowing your child is in the top ten in their city or even state, but it adds pressure to them and reduces their excitement for the game. You should definitely work to pull the best out of your child and make them play hard, but avoid getting caught up in the hype.

If your child is an exceptional player once they reach high school level, coaches will already know them. This is the level in which coaches start not only looking at their skill set, but also their character: what type of kid are they on and off the court? Are they the type of kid that makes their teammates better or are they only focused on themself? Coaches also look at fundamentals: is your child dribbling unnecessarily, failing to pass, slow moving? Make sure your child is with the right team that will grant them exposure. Today’s kids have the “microwave mentality”, meaning they want everything at a fast pace. If it doesn’t happen quickly, they want to move on to something they think is a better situation. Do not let your child be “that kid”. Most of the greats did not hop from team to team.

The most important thing is consistency. Does your child jump from team to team? When things don’t go the way he/she thinks they should, do you move them on to the next team or next school? Reality is, it doesn’t matter if you’re with the best AAU team or high school team; what matters is how loyal they are to their teammates and coaches. Yes, life happens and it may force you to move on and join a new team, but don’t let your kid be labeled as the good player who lacks consistency. Consistent hard work, breeds success! Success breeds Greatness!

Pressure

It’s pressure knowing that a losing season rides on your husband’s shoulders. It’s pressure knowing that a losing season may be the loss of jobs for coaches, who depend on your husband. It’s also pressure knowing that the other wives and children are depending on your husband to produce a winning season. Let’s be clear; no one ever speaks on or recognizes the pressure you feel, as a Head Coach’s wife.

Being the Head Coach’s wife, is probably the most anxiety filled position there is to have. There is the pressure of always feeling the need to be on. If you have a bad day or simply not in the mood to shake hands and kiss babies; you’re labeled the unapproachable wife. There is also the pressure of making sure your family looks the part. It’s easy to say, “You shouldn’t care what people think”, but it’s a different story when you receive a bad rep for not being on your A-game. People never consider what may have happened right before their brief interaction with you. Nor do they factor in all of the pleasant vibes you’d given on other occasions. It’s just that “one time that counts” to them. There’s also the pressure of being at an event, the one time that you’re not put together and your child has on play clothes, and media insists on taking a picture of you. That’s a moment you’re forced to relive over and over again. This wife position applies pressure…lots of pressure.

There is pressure in knowing your husband wants his time, your child(ren) want their time, and you definitely need your time, but it’s on you to figure out how to squeeze it all in. Oh! And what about the last minute requests that your husband sprung on you?! As if your life is already full of pressure, you now have to make sure your house is in tact, for the event you have to host! Uggggh! The pressure!

It’s pressure in knowing you’re the home away from home for the players. Yes, you enjoy being with them and loving on them, but it’s pressure in knowing that you may not make mama’s Mac n cheese or grandmas sweet potato pie, how they like it. The pressure doesn’t come from not being able to fulfill the assignment: being able to handle the things that come at you, with style and grace is HEAVY PRESSURE.

Take The Trip

The hardest thing to do as a Coach’s family is to plan a getaway! This is why most wives plan activities when the team has tournaments out of town or road trips. As mothers, we take full advantage of planning activities for the kids and if we can fit a trip in around the Coach’s scouting trips or the physical on court season; we have performed a magic trick.

Get this!!! A couple months ago, at the last minute, my husband and I decided to take our son on a mini trip to Atlanta. Yes, we’ve been to Atlanta a thousand times, but this time it was different. One, because Covid makes everything different; two, because I actually took the short time we had and found things to do; three, it was just nice to do something other than our regular routined activities.

No matter how many times you have gone to that city or how lame it may seem going there over and over; just take the trip! Make plans to experience something different. See it from the lens of your kid and not from your adult lens. Whether it’s a two day trip or a week long trip, just take the trip! When you are looking to enjoy a mini vacay, anything goes. As many times as I have been to Atlanta, it has always been to hang with my friends; not to sightsee. On my family trip, we did just that! And with the help of my dear friend; who pretty much told me where to go and what to eat, we made the best of our short stay. Did you know that Atlanta has Medieval Times? Yes, it’s exactly what you imagine and they serve you a 3 course meal! My son enjoyed every minute of it! Sooooo, let’s stop questioning whether we should do it or not and just take the trip!!!!