Can l, first, say that I Love you?! As you lay next to me, I think of how God has blessed me with you. I think about how handsome of a young man you are and you’ll grow to be. I think of the challenges life will hand you, just because you are a young black man. Will you be able to handle them? Will you ask for help when your back is against the wall? I know that your dad and I are doing our best with raising you, but I often wonder if we’re doing enough: if it will be enough to get you through life. I often wonder if you will go to college; if you will continue with sports; if you will love me and your father as much, when you get older. One thing is for sure, I never want you to quit! Keep trying until you are satisfied and always know that we are here for you. Always know that our door is open for you. Always know that being a good person will take you further than being a bad, mean, or negative person. Yes, we have spoken college into your future, but if being an entrepreneur is your desire; we’re behind you. Your peers may try to persuade you or pressure you one day, but being your own person is the way to be! Don’t be so hard on yourself, but trust that God will show you the way. Also remember, girls will come and go, but your Mama will always be here.
There will be more days that I piss you off than days that I make you happy, but please know that I always have your best interest. There will be days you’ll prefer to talk to your dad and not me, but know that I’ll never take it personally. I will always be your punching bag, even when I don’t agree with your choices. Never take your talents lightly. I’m your biggest fan, but I will always correct when you’re wrong. Don’t take it personally, but understand that your biggest doubters are also your fans (read that again). I know it sounds weird, but just trust me on this. Even the biggest legends have doubters ( insert Kobe’s I hate you commercial). Please know that when you’re up, they love you and when you’re down, they hate you or they will be silent (ask your dad).
I know I have said a lot; some things you will understand and some things won’t become clear, until you’re older. That is okay because your dad and I will be there every step of the way, to remind you of how great you are!! History Cruz Collins, I love you and you are the Best! Never forget that!
Love,
Mommy
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